i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
