So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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