I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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