we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
