none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize