Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
