we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
