it's like her boobs came off with her bra
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
