I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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