He is an equal opportunity slut.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
she smelled like a LAN party
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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