I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
