i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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