that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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