Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
