how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
