You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
