can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
