Christians are straight up FREAKS
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
