I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
