So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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