I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
