what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Why is there bacon in the couch?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
