giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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