I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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