Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
