why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
