I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
