There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
