i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
