Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
