I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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