Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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