it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize