is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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