so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
