I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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