are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
