she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
