I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
