My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
