Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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