It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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