walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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