there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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