I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
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