just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
