Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
