After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
