Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize