Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
