Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
