so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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