Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
