so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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