I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
