I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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