I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
