I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
