so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
