Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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