I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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